Anyone that knows me well knows that I am the quintessential
introvert. In my classes, I am extremely reserved and feel anxious if asked to
speak in class. This does not mean that I do not know the material. It also
does not mean that I am being rebellious in my refusal to answer questions or
in my short responses. Because of being
an introvert, I feel that most of the time my professors see my lack of
answering as a deficiency of knowledge or inattentiveness with the material
being presented. This is far from the truth. Most of the time, I whisper the
answers to a more vocal classmate or write the answer down on a piece of paper.
A few weeks ago at work I was in a faculty meeting. During
this meeting a well-meaning administrator asked me a question in front of the
entire staff. While I could go into detail on the subject matter if asked
one-on-one, I froze and could not say anything.
This picture says it all…
Needless to say, I felt like an idiot after the meeting.
Thanks to Facebook here are a few myths that you should know
about Introverts.
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they
have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about
something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert.
Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to
interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk
to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the
bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest.
Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel
a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends
they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky
enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal
ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of
substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR
AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public
activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result,
don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home,
recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for
Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own
thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work
on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t
have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and
sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the
crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think
for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t
make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying
close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are
incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that
their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy
public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If
there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are
too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and
Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become
Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for
their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one
study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with
IQ.
So, why do I bring it up… Often we work with gifted introverts
that like me, find it difficult to communicate verbally in class. Use these
tips when working with introverts in your life and in the classroom.
How to Care for Introverts
·
Respect their need for privacy.
·
Never embarrass them in public.
·
Let them observe first in new situations.
·
Give them time to think. Don’t demand instant
answers.
·
Don’t interrupt them.
·
Give them advanced notice of expected changes in
their lives.
·
Give then 15 minutes warning to finish whatever
they are doing before calling them to dinner or moving on to the next activity.
·
Reprimand them privately.
·
Teach them new skills privately rather than in
public.
·
Enable them to find one best friend who has
similar interests and abilities; encourage this relationship even if the friend
moves.
·
Do not push them to make lots of friends.
·
Respect their introversion. Don’t try to remake
them into extroverts.
Remember: Each person is different. You can’t treat
everybody exactly the same, each person cannot be fit in the same box.
